hawaiian nights

tonight has been one of those restless nights where i've read all my books, i've tried to sleep, and television just doesn't sound appealing. i've thought about being spiritual and read my bible from start to finish but i can never seem to get past lamentations. so, instead, i went for a walk. that seemed to help. i took my soon-to-be-replaced mp3 player along for the trip. grand idea! i recently purchase the soundtrack for call+response and i decided tonight would be the night where i listened to it all the way through. oh.my.goodness. this soundtrack is incredible. i cannot even begin to describe it. i would do it no justice if i tried. just go to itunes and buy it. you will not be sorry. anyway, just listening to the music and listening to the little blurbs by cornel west made me want to get out there again. i love my job and i love living close to my family and i love my grants pass friends but i cannot ignore my passion for justice/love/peace/servanthood/relationship with the nations. i believe god is calling me to a wild and crazy life of getting lice from orphans, eating food without really knowing what it is, going for days without a shower, not knowing if i will have enough money and then god showing up and miraculously providing.... as crazy as it sounds that is what i long for. i really felt like i was living when i was in azerbaijan and georgia and even in germany. those times i stepped out in faith not knowing if i would be "okay" were the best moments of my life so far. i cannot wait to jump back in to that lifestyle. even if i am unprepared and terrified and holding on to this thin shred of faith that god will work it all out. and so i begin this blog. hopefully i will be better at updating this time around.... and now i leave you with a bit of wisdom from mr. cornel west- you can't lead the people if you don't love the people. you can't save the people if you don't serve the people.